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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23550190">Pain, Remembered</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/MadalineGrace/pseuds/MadalineGrace'>MadalineGrace</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>What's Your Emergency? [5]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>9-1-1 (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Gen, Hurt/Comfort, References to 1x04, leg injuries, references to season 3, worried family</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-04-08</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-04-08</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-02 17:08:27</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,994</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23550190</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/MadalineGrace/pseuds/MadalineGrace</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>"Pain had a funny way of coming back when you least expected it. Buck, however, didn’t see the humor."</p><p>It can be difficult to ask for help. Buck learns the hard way that sometimes, it's okay not to be okay.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>What's Your Emergency? [5]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1688359</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>293</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Pain, Remembered</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Thank you all so much for you comments and kudos! I do read them all even if I don't have a chance to respond. I've got a whole bunch of ideas for future stories and I hope to get them to you all soon, maybe make your quarantine a little more bearable? Stay safe and stay well!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Pain had a funny way of coming back when you least expected it. Buck, however, didn’t see the humor. It had been a year since the bombing, an entire year since his leg had been crushed and his world flipped upside down, and life was finally back to normal. He’d been back on the job for months, running through burning building and leaping into danger, with barely a twinge to remind him of what lay beneath the scars. Even his doctors were baffled by his seemingly miraculous recovery. So, of course, it figured that something had to go wrong. That the universe had to balance out all of his recent good luck.</p><p>The call came in around lunch time, a house fire with a family trapped inside. Without a single thought toward his leg, Buck geared up and hopped into the truck as they screeched out of the station. From there, everything had been straightforward. Go in, find the family, get out. Bobby and Chim were manning the hoses while Eddie and Buck had headed inside. Shouts from above and below made splitting up the obvious answer. Eddie took the main floor and Buck went upstairs. Nothing new, they’d done it dozens of times.</p><p>Buck located the children with relative ease. They were trapped in their bedroom, but unharmed. With a confident smile and a string of soft assurances, he scooped them up into his strong arms and took off. He was nearly to the stairs when the house shuddered, and a heavy oak bookshelf toppled toward them. As fast as he was, Buck only managed to get far enough to shield the children. The shelf and all of its contents crashed down on his leg. His left leg.</p><p>The pain was intense and for a moment, he was right back there in the middle of the street. He had enough presence of mind to hold back the scream that wanted to tear out his throat, biting the inside of his cheek hard enough to draw blood. Buck’s vision was fading in and out, but the kids in his arms were sobbing and he still had a job to do. With an almighty shove, he heaved the bookshelf off and staggered to his feet.</p><p>“We’re okay. I gotcha. I’m gonna get you out here.” Buck soothed, trying his best not to show the agony he felt. With as much speed as he could muster, he charged out of the house and all but collapsed on the lawn next to where Hen and Eddie were treating the parents.</p><p>“You sure took your sweet time.” Eddie joked. Buck, not yet trusting his voice, pasted on a smile and shot him the finger. Hen laughed and tossed him a med kit so he could begin assessing the children.</p>
<hr/><p>The ride back to the station was nearly unbearable. The rest of team was laughing and joking, spirits high after a successful rescue. Buck did his best to join in, but he could barely follow the conversation. All of his energy was focused on the throbbing in his leg. By the time they made it back, Buck had to ball up his fists to hide how much his hands were shaking. For once, he was thankful for the soot that coated his skin, otherwise his pallor would certainly give him away. As soon as they were parked, Buck made a beeline for the locker rooms, desperate to get away, to go somewhere he could break down in privacy. Or at least, he tried to.</p><p>“Whoa, easy there, buddy!” Eddie said, whipping out a hand to steady Buck when his leg wobbled as he climbed out of the truck. “You good?” Buck slapped on another fake smile and forced a small laugh.</p><p>“Keep forgetting how high this thing is. Just landed funny is all. I’m all good.” He assured his friend. Eddie cocked his head and gave him a considering look, but then patted his back.</p><p>“Go get cleaned up. No way Cap’s letting you eat dinner like that.” With that, Buck trudged to the locker room, forcing himself to walk normally even though it sent spikes of fiery pain through him.</p><p>Removing his gear was excruciating and, by the time he’d managed to remove his boots, his entire body was trembling and coated in a sheen of cold sweat. From what he could see, nothing in his leg looked broken or otherwise grossly misshapen, but the entire area was bruised and swollen. Remembering the bottle of Tylenol and the bruise cream in his locker, Buck slowly eased himself up from the bench. However, the moment his foot hit the floor, the pain overwhelmed him, and his knee buckled, sending him crashing roughly to the floor. Buck’s vision whited out and the fire in his leg consumed him.</p>
<hr/><p>“Dinner’s getting cold. You plan on joining us any time soon?” Bobby called as he stepped into the locker room. They’d been back at the station for forty-five minutes and Buck had yet to re-emerge. He’d been willing to give him some extra time to clean up since the man was, admittedly, filthy after their last call. Still, it was unusual for him to dawdle in the shower, especially when he knew that Bobby’s cooking would be waiting for him. Not hearing an answer, Bobby frowned and rounded the corner. “Buck, you in here?” The sight that greeted him sent a thrill of panic through his chest. Buck was collapsed half against the row of lockers, eyes screwed shut and breathing so fast it bordered on hyperventilation.</p><p>“Buck!” Bobby raced over, sliding to his knees next to his youngest recruit. “Buck, what’s wrong?” With obvious effort, Buck forced open bloodshot eyes to look up at Bobby.</p><p>“S’nothin’…Cap.” He wheezed, still gasping for breath. “’m fine. Be up in a s-sec.”</p><p>“Buck, you’re clearly not ‘fine.’ What happened? Did you fall? Where are you hurt?” The fear on Bobby’s face was exactly what Buck had been hoping to avoid.</p><p>“I-it’s really…nothing. I just-“</p><p>“Buck.” Bobby interrupted, fixing him with a serious look. “Tell me the truth.” Buck seemed to deflate a little.</p><p>“Leg.” He gasped finally, knowing that there was no way he could try to play it off now. Without waiting for an explanation, Bobby began pulling up his pant leg. He froze when he saw the colorful array of bruises beneath.</p><p>“Oh my God…” He whispered. “What happened?”</p><p>“B-bookshelf…at the house. Nothing’s b-broken, just…just…” Buck broke off with a barely concealed whimper that made Bobby’s heart ache.</p><p>“Okay, kid. We need to get the swelling down. I’m going to go get some help, okay?” Buck nodded jerkily and Bobby quickly ran to the door and shouted for the others before heading back in. Buck was panting harder than ever now and was clearly struggling to take a full breath. Bobby leaned in close and placed a flat palm on Buck’s chest. “Alright, Buck, just relax. You need to slow your breathing or you’re gonna pass out.” Buck’s hand shot up and gripped Bobby’s forearm with surprising strength.</p><p>“C-can’t…I…I…”</p><p>“Breath with me. In, two, three, four…hold, two, three, four…out, two, three, four…” Bobby coached. He kept up his soothing litany as the rest of the team ran in, eyes widening at the scene.</p><p>“What the hell happened?” Eddie demanded, dropping his med bag and examining his friend.</p><p>“He took a bookshelf to the leg on our last call. No obvious structural damage, but it’s a bit of a mess.” Bobby relayed quietly.</p><p>“Just had to be your bad leg, didn’t it hun?” Hen said in that motherly voice she knew Buck loved, taking a quick set of vitals.</p><p>“Alright, Buckaroo, we’re just gonna take a quick look here. Let us know if we’re hurting you too much.” Began Chim as he and Eddie carefully rolled up the pant leg to assess the leg. Eddie let out a low whistle.</p><p>“Yeah, buddy, you’ve got some nasty swelling going on here. I’m gonna need to have a little feel real quick, just to make sure everything’s where it should be. This is probably gonna hurt, but I’ll be quick.” Eddie warned. Buck wanted to scream, to tell Eddie that yes, it did hurt, but the pain stole his voice.</p><p>“Breathe, kiddo.” Bobby murmured, smoothing back his hair. “Try to breathe through it, just like we practiced.”</p><p>“Okay, all done. I can’t feel any breaks, although I’d feel better if he had an x-ray.” Eddie said, more to Bobby than to Buck. “I’m gonna start an IV, get you on some anti-inflammatories.”</p><p>“Let’s get some ice on here too, try to reduce the swelling.” Chim suggested, pulling out a stack of chemical ice packs. “It would have been better to start icing right away, but better late than never, right Bucko? Hen, you wanna help me elevate that leg?”</p><p>“Buck,” Bobby began once the young man’s breathing had settled a bit, “why didn’t you tell us you were hurt?” Buck closed his eyes and shook his head.</p><p>“N-not a big deal…I’m okay…r-really.” Buck stammered. Eddie snorted out a humorless laugh.</p><p>“Not buying it, brother. You got busted up pretty good and I know it hurts like hell. You should’ve said something.”</p><p>“Buck, I’d be happy to give you a few days off, let you-“ Bobby started, but Buck was already shaking his head.</p><p>“No! I’m fine. I can work, I promise. Bobby, I can do the job.” Buck said frantically, his breathing speeding up again.</p><p>“Easy, just relax. No one’s saying you can’t do the job.” Bobby assured him. “But your health comes first. Just take a few days and come back when you’re ready. The job will always be here when you…come back…” Bobby trailed off, struck by a sudden realization. “Buck? Is that what this is about? You’re worried you’ll be replaced, that you’ll lose your job?” He asked softly. Buck looked away, trying to hide the tears threatening to spill from his eyes.</p><p>“You know that’s not gonna happen, right?” Chim added as he finished securing the ice packs to Buck’s leg. “We could never do that.”</p><p>“You did before.” Buck mumbled so quiet they barely heard it. “I couldn’t…not again. This, you guys…it’s all I have.” He whispered brokenly.</p><p>“Oh, Buck.” Hen pulled him close. “I know things got out of hand after you got hurt, but that’s not going to happen again.”</p><p>“She’s right.” Bobby said. “We learned, <em>I learned</em>, from my mistakes. You’re a part of this team, this family, Evan. We’ve got your back.”</p><p>“There’s no need to suffer alone.” Asserted Eddie. “<em>But</em>, we can’t help you if you don’t let us. If being here, joining the 118, has taught me anything, its that family comes first. And there’s no one I’d rather have behind me than all of you crazy weirdos.” He added affectionately.</p><p>“Do you remember what you said to me that day you and Hen found me in my apartment?” Bobby asked, his voice calm, but intense. “Maybe ask for help once in a while?” Buck glanced up and gave Bobby a watery smile.</p><p>“Help?” The single word broke everyone’s resolve and for few minutes, they sat on the floor in silence, holding one another close.</p>
<hr/><p>Hours later, the team was sprawled out across Eddie’s living room. His place had been the obvious choice given its lack of stairs. Buck had been cleaned up, helped into the shower by Eddie and Chim, and treated to an incredible meal from Bobby. Hen had been the one to suggest a team movie night and they’d all ended up cuddled together around the couch. Buck was sandwiched between Bobby and Christopher, who had fallen asleep against his chest. As the movie played in the background, his thoughts drifted, replaying the events of the day. Maybe, just maybe, asking for help wasn’t such a bad thing.</p><p> </p>
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